肆

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十一月的第一天，北京第一场雪，在北京这么久都没认真记录过那一场雪。

终于意识到了误解的力量有多么强大。可是我已然不想再挣扎或者说纠缠下去。我需要充电，重新上路。也许还有磨难也许还有艰辛，也许还有未知和更多的无法承受。暴风雨就像那天的雪一样来的猛烈。但是我欣然接受。

宽容不是件困难的事情，作茧自缚的人常有。我不是喜欢给人找麻烦的人，但时时给人找麻烦。如果我让你觉得是负担你为什么不直接点告诉我？然后我们想个折中的办法？

我们知道那些个追求和华丽的借口，我们也知道障碍不是想的那么简单。我有路可退，不是因为我有比你更优越的什么。我什么都没有，唯一有的大概就是那么点的自信和对未来的憧憬。就像我妈妈说的，有双手就不会被饿死，我一直这么认为。

曾经的歌，曾经的书，曾经的自己我以为不会再怀念。

过去是无法抹杀的，但未来还是接踵而来。

最后还是LILY  ALLEN的歌。也许就是我的哲学。

Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started calling me your Mrs
All the play fighting
All the flirtatious disses
I’d tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We’d spend the whole weekend
Lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy
In your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin’ tea in bed, watchin’ DVD’s
When I discovered all your dirty, grotty magazines
You’d take me out shopping
And all we’d buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you’d make that face you do
There’s no-one in the world who could replace you

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?